Selfish
by condolences
Summary: Izaya learns that one of his humans is dating the one he detests the most. Oneshot.


First DRRR! fic that I've completed! Let me know what you think.

* * *

Izaya Orihara lived in a small world. And that worked out just fine for him, because news travelled quicker within small worlds, and made his job a lot easier. Though he wouldn't always classify keeping tabs on his precious humans a "job"; it was a hobby that he happened to get paid substantial amounts of money for.

The day he learns that one of his precious humans managed to find a date with the one human he absolutely despised, he wasn't sure how he felt. Thankfully (or unfortunately, in this case) Namie ran every ridiculous errand he asked of her, which included ordering four obnoxiously sized cakes weekly from a humble establishment called Sweet-kebukuro that he would only eat one piece each from. He never offered Namie a piece.

"Nice to see that Heiwajima-san taking a time out from ruining the city to ruin a girl's life," Namie sneered into her coffee.

Izaya quit tapping on his computer keyboard and looked up. "Elaborate."

"That last minute assignment for me yesterday? Got to the cake shop a little before it closed. He was hanging around the front. After I got your stupid cakes, after getting the worst service, mind you, the ditz was probably peeved I invaded her date night-"

"Cut to the chase. Also, you're rude to everyone that isn't your simple brother, so I wouldn't be so surprised if she spat in my tart. That's coming out of your pay."

Namie's eyes shot daggers to her employer, but Izaya remained unscathed by the glare. "Anyway," her tone shifted, as if to torment him. "They seemed rather smitten."

_Shizu-chan? On a date? Seeing a girl? Don't make me laugh._

But it was true, and Izaya wasn't laughing.

He sees this abomination for himself from the rooftop of the bakery where the girl worked.

Shizuo had swung by to pick her up after dusk, shortly after the cake shop had closed for the day. Izaya made especially sure that he would stay out of the monster's sight; the mere smell of the informant was enough to tip him off and show the poor girl what she was getting herself into. Kneeling behind a gigantic air conditioner, he studied their interaction.

_Tsk, what's a nice girl like you doing with that dog? You may be sweet, but you sure are stupid._

The girl leaned up, and she planted a small kiss on his cheek.

_Hah, are you sure you have enough attention span to please a woman when all you think about is killing me?_

Shizuo held her hand.

_You're always thinking of me._

They walked away.

_I'll make sure of it._

Not more than two days later, Izaya discovers the basics about Shizuo's new lady friend. Miki Suzuki, early twenties, daughter of the owners of the bake shop, lives in an impressive apartment for a single girl, oh, the list can go on for this extremely basic girl who lives an extremely basic life...

_Really, Shizu-chan, I should have known you'd pick up such a boring one. I bet she thinks your behavior is even heroic._

_ Tsk, does she know?_

Izaya catches her just before lunch break. He tells one of the other workers that he would like to compliment her personally on her baking skills and would like to inquire about office party catering. He takes a seat in a cafe styled table next to a pastel pink wall and twiddles his thumbs.

"Orihara-san?" a small voice rings out from behind him a few moments later, and he rises from his chair to greet her. She's even more feeble looking up close; small, slender frame, long, dark hair, and nervous eyes. Izaya bets Shizuo would snap her in half in bed. Izaya then wonders if they've been intimate yet. The poor girl looks like she wouldn't know what to do with a man's body.

He introduces himself amicably. "Miss Suzuki, a pleasure."

"Please, Miki is fine," she bows with a smile. "Let's have a seat."

After keeping up the charade that he was throwing an appreciation party for his employees (as if he would throw a party for Namie), he decides it's time.

"It's a wonderful feat you've been able to rank high in the city's bake shops year after year," he congratulates.

She blushes, and mouths a thank you. _Huh, no wonder Shizu-chan was able to score a date with her. Praise her once, she'll melt._

"Such a charming little shop too, no wonder you attract so many customers."

_Praise her twice, she's a puddle._ Miki went on about how she proposed the pastel color scheme, and Izaya pretended to be interested.

"You've got a great eye for detail, Miki."

_Praise her thrice, she's yours._

"Well, I clearly made the correct decision in choosing your shop for my party," Izaya sounded like a game show host. "No mean to sound pessimistic, but I've had such bad luck with cake shops in the past."

"Oh?" Her eyes rounded to concern. "What do you mean?"

If Izaya had a soul, it would be smiling down on them.

"Well, there are those that just taste awful, and then there are some that just are finished before you even got a chance for a taste."

Her stare signaled for him to go on.

"I remember quite some time ago, a woman's shop was absolutely destroyed. Really unfortunate. The owner was so kind, just a really good person."

_Gotcha_.

"Granted, I was very young when it happened, but I'd like to say that you remind me of her, come to think of it."

"I won't go into the gory details, but there are some people you should keep far away from your shop!" he said, a little too light heartedly. "It'd be a shame if my favorite sweets shop was destroyed, ne?"

Miki, shaken by the tale, hung onto his words as if he was the only one who knew the key to her protection. "Do you...do you know who did it, Orihara-san?"

"Can't say for sure, but there's only one guy I know who could do such damage single handedly."

_Ah, Miki-chan, you really are naïve. Naïve to be courted by him. _

_ Naïve enough to trust me._

Izaya thanked his lucky stars that he remembered that little tidbit his insane doctor friend prattled to him about in high school. Shizuo's childhood ordeal with the milk woman's store is one he never repeated to anybody else (Shinra was just a nosy kid and found out on his own), and if Izaya had to bend the truth a little bit to gain satisfaction, well, would anyone put it past him?

Later that week, just after sun down, Izaya paid a visit to the park, and propping himself against a tall, shadowy tree, discretely watched as his humans continued to go about their lives. Seeing as it was a weekend evening, the park was now filled with teenagers, some still in their school uniforms, others in normal, but slightly dressier wear, as if to impress their dates.

A familiar gruff voice caught his ear's attention, and Izaya turned his head in the direction of the sound.

"No, I understand. I just don't see why you waited until today to tell me."

Shizuo, still in his usual bartender's uniform, held a ridiculously colorful bouquet of flowers in one hand, and clutched his cell phone close to his ear with the other. Izaya stayed hidden in the shadow of the tree, and watched his plan go into effect.

"Well, how about I at least drop these off to you? You're still there, right?"

The blond's hopeful face dropped gradually into disappointment every time he listened to her response.

"How about tomorrow then?"

_ So clingy, Shizu-chan. Give the girl some breathing room._

"Who came into your shop?"

A_ little birdy, Miki-chan. Don't forget._ But Izaya had enough confidence in that little mouse to assure that he wouldn't be given away just yet.

"Wait, Miki. Don't—I can explain. Just tell me who you talked to-"

The way that Shizuo's arm lamely dropped by his side told Izaya that she had already dumped him and hung up. He still held the bouquet in his other hand, a little too tightly now, and the stems had begun to bend in disjointed patterns.

"Oh, Shizu-chan, are those for me?"

His cocky voice were nails on a chalkboard for Shizuo. Surprisingly, his reaction wasn't to pick up the nearest lamp post and toss it at the informant; if anything, the look on his face was pitiful. The last puppy at the pet store. The kid picked last for kickball. The guy stood up on a date.

Izaya bounded towards him with a skip in his step from under a tree.

"The fuck do you want," Shizuo stated more than asked, and turned the other way.

"Might want to keep your temper down, wouldn't wanna scare your date away when she comes, right?"

Shizuo stayed silent.

"What's she like, Shizu-chan? Is she cute? She's cute, right? I bet she's kind of shy, too..."

"Shut. Up." Shizuo gripped the flowers midway now, and they begun to snap.

"I bet she's got nice, long hair, and I bet you could pick her up with a finger, she's so small..."

The ugly realization hit him, and Shizuo turned around with one swift motion. "You."

"Me? I don't remember you asking me to meet you here-"

"You know what the fuck I mean," he gritted. "You came into her shop. You told her about the woman when I was younger."

Izaya took a couple steps back, and shrugged. "I was simply telling her to be careful about her shop. I have to watch out for the people, right?"

"How the hell did you...who told you that?"

The stems were now in two pieces, and the petals scattered around their feet.

"It's a small world. An even smaller city," Izaya picked up a petal on the ground, and rolled it between his thumb and index finger. "And my job is simply to know about it."

Shizuo finally let go of the bouquet. It rolled to Izaya's feet, and he crushed it under his shoe.

"What's wrong, Shizu-chan?" Izaya stomped on the destroyed flowers with every word. "So hung up on this girl that you can't find it in you to beat me to a pulp today? C'mon, I'm right here!"

But Shizuo wouldn't budge. He looked down at the ground, his hair hung over his eyes, rendering Izaya unable to read his expression.

"Why..." the so called monster meekly growled.

"Why, what?" Izaya kicked the bouquet into the distance.

"Why the fuck would you do that?" Shizuo's rage began to build. "Why couldn't you just leave her alone? Why couldn't you, just once, not make my life so goddamn difficult? What did she do to you?"

_There he is._

Shizuo crossed the distance between him and Izaya, and picked the other up by the hood of his jacket.

"Why?" the blond asked again, shaking the brunette. Izaya held his stare, and his expression grew more and more arrogant as he mulled over the possible reasons in his head.

_ Because she's one of my humans, and I couldn't let her mingle with the likes of you?_

_ Because you shouldn't be allowed to know what love and affection are?_

_ Because I can't stand the thought of someone else taking over your thoughts?_

_ Because it's always been me whose been a constant, and no weak human will take that from me._

But Izaya shook those reasons from his head, and went with a more obvious answer.

"Because I hate you, Shizu-chan," he reasoned. "Why else?"


End file.
